Why I strongly dislike Revenge of the Sith

  So alot of people I know seem to like the the 3rd Star Wars prequel. Some even rank it up there with the Original Trilogy. But personally I'm not so fond of it. As I recently had the "pleasure" to re-watch it I decided I'd write this review. Hopefully it will help to convey why I dislike it.
Quick note: This review will be somewhat facetious but I mean no offense to those who enjoys this film and of course this is all my personal opinion.

  Let me start by quickly going over my biggest issue, not only with this film but with the prequel trilogy as a whole, the concept that Anakin is "the chosen one".  I have the same problem, though to a lesser extent, with The Dark Knight and Man of Steel. Instead of focusing on the personal struggles of our character, be he Anakin Skywalker, Kal El or Harvey Dent, these films try to make us care about them by telling us that they're somehow "important" to the world of the film. Maybe it's partly a taste issue but this always turns me off.

  With that out of the way let's talk about the opening sequence. Alot of people rant about how visually amazing and exciting it is. The effects look pretty good I guess, but visually it's kind of a mess, it actually reminds me a little of a scene in this one Trek episode where there are a bunch of Enterprises from alternate timelines floating around in space. The battle itself is kind of dull. Obi Wan and Anakin just fly around for a while on the way to Grievous' ship, en route they encounter and easily dispatch some droid fighters and then have to deal with some buzz droids that land on Obi Wan's ship. Compared to the space battles from Episodes IV or VI, it just doesn't measure up. Anyway, after this they get inside Grievous ship and rescue the chancellor. This sequence, which is often rather lighthearted, is tonally inconsistent with the rest of this rather dark film and it makes little sense. Why would Palpatine, this supposed mastermind, come up with such a risky scheme just to get rid of Dooku? What if Anakin was killed by Dooku? What if the whole ship was destroyed and Palpatine got killed? It comes awful close. And why are the republic ships firing on Grievous' ship if they know that the Chancellor's on board and that the Jedi are trying to rescue him?  I will admit though that I enjoy this scene despite its many flaws, at least it's a little suspenseful and there's a sense of fun.

  And this brings me to my first major problem with the film as a whole. Aside from a little dry humor from Obi Wan there's almost no levity after this scene. I realize that this is a dark, tragic story but Empire Strikes Back was dark too (and far more emotionally resonant then this) but it still managed to sprinkle humor and levity throughout the film. I mean this is Star Wars, let's have at least at little fun with it. I might not mind the tone as much if it was at least well-made but, it's not.

  Like the other prequels, this film contains many inconsistencies with the original trilogy and continues to mess with the mythology. In Return of the Jedi, Leia tells Luke that she can still remember her real mother, yet in this film Padme dies in child birth. We also find out that Chewbacca knew Yoda (???), like the revelation that Anakin built C3PO this just feels strange and forced. To add insult to injury there's more mention of midi-chlorians and of course this infamous scene which has come to represent fan reaction to the prequels.

   Another major problem is the acting. It ranges from the bland, cringe-worthy line delivery of Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman, to the laughably over the top performance of Ian McDiarmid as Darth Sidious. McDiarmid's performance is fine when he's playing the more understated Chancellor but as soon it's revealed that he the dark lord it basically turns into unintentional camp. Sure he was always a little over the top but here it just becomes silly. Of course I can't really blame the actors. Blue screen backgrounds and cgi stand-ins are not inspirational settings. In fact the same day I watched this I saw Captain Philips, which was filmed on location and used long, uncut takes. The difference was extremely apparent. 

  And then there's the dialogue. It's awful. There's been no shortage of criticism for Lucas's writing in the prequels so I won't elaborate too much but it is pretty bad. There's all kinds of lame expository dialogue where the characters explain what's going on as it's happening. During the opening sequence a droid ship fires missiles at Obi Wan and Anakin, prompting them to say, "Missiles pull up!" and when they miss, "They overshot  us" and "They're coming around". We see all of this visually there's no need for the running commentary. Then there's the painfully stilted romantic dialogue. "You are so... beautiful" "It's only because I'm so in love" "No, no it's because I'm so in love with you." Finally the characters also often say things that make no sense. When Count Dooku walks in on Palpatine's rescue he tells Obi Wan and Anakin to "Get help". They're in an enemy ship carrying out a rescue mission, does he really expect them to drop everything and come back with more men? In a later scene when Yoda confronts Darth Sidious, the sith lord tells him, "You will not stop me. Darth Vader will become more powerful than either of us." What does this have to do with anything? Darth Vader is in another star system, how is he supposed to help Sidious with Yoda? And why would Sidious want Vader to become more powerful? Isn't Sidious afraid that Vader might betray him like he betrayed Darth Plagueis? And when Anakin confronts him he tells him he's going to turn him in right in front of his face. I realize that Anakin's supposed to be conflicted but warning a powerful enemy about his imminent capture is a really dumb thing to do.

  The dialogue isn't the only thing in the film that doesn't make sense. People's actions are often similarly lacking any sensible explanation or motive. After attempting to kill the Emperor, Yoda just gives up. I know some say that he realizes that the Palpatine is too powerful for him and decides to preserve himself so he can later train someone (Luke) to overthrow him, but if he can sense that then why risk revealing himself in the first place? Oh I know, it's so Yoda and Palpatine can have an over the top fight scene in the senate chambers. Moving on, after Obi Wan cut's Anakin's legs off he just stands there and watches him burn up. Seriously? I mean yes, Anakin is his friend and he might be hesitant to kill him but that is what he came there for. Why not finish the job and end his suffering?

  The most nonsensical thing in the film however is Palpatine's whole plan to seduce Anakin and overthrow the republic. First of all what does one have to do with the other? Palpatine has already amassed political power and he easily destroys the Jedi using order 66. What does Anakin do to help other than killing some younglings and political pawns? Why does he want Anakin at all? Hasn't he learned that having a powerful apprentice is dangerous? Besides this, the ways that he goes about manipulating him are so obvious that it's really hard to believe that Anakin falls for it. First he tells him to kill Dooku, who might easily have valuable information, and his only excuse is, "he cut off your hand". Then, after encouraging suspicions toward the Jedi, he implies that he knows about the dark side and tells Anakin that it can be used to cheat death at the convenient time when Anakin is afraid for Padme. Of course it doesn't help that, prior to this film, we've seen practically nothing of their "friendship".

  When Anakin finally does fall the movie fails to make me believe or care about his decision. It seems that he's doing it at this point not because he believes Palpatine but because he's so desperate to save Padme (who at this point is in no danger of dying). But then later he tells her that he believes he can destroy Palpatine and then they can rule the galaxy together, but how will that work if he needs Palpatine to save her? After that he tells Obi Wan that he now believes that the Jedi are evil, so I guess he believes Palpatine now? Or maybe he's been driven mad by Padme's perceived betrayal? Whatever.

  Finally, there's some of shoddy film making. Just look at some of these wipes that were used to transition between scenes. Lucas was inspired by Akira Kurosawa in his use of unique wipes and transitions in the original trilogy but here, although some of them are fine, many of these wipes really draw attention to themselves.

There's also alot of lazy staging and cinematography. I've already mentioned the overuse of cgi and blue screen which makes the actors job's that much harder but in addition to this many scenes are shot or played out in a way which decreases the tension and drama. I'll illustrate this (among other things) in the next paragraph.

And thus the sith-cork 720 came to be...

  Revenge of the Sith contains what may be the worst scene in the entire series. After being informed of Palpatine's true identity by Anakin, Mace Windu and three other members of the Jedi council go to his chambers to arrest him. After Mace informs him that he's "under arrest" Palpatine declares "It's treason then" and this is where things get ugly (and by ugly I mean incredibly stupid). Palpatine takes out lightsaber from his sleeve and then jumps out and executes what I can only describe as a corkscrew toward the jedi. Then he subdues the three jedi accompanying Windu so quickly it makes you question whether they were ever apprentices let alone Jedi masters. The rest of the fight plays out in awkward fashion with Palpatine flailing about like an old drunk and Mace looking like he's about to break into a dance. All of this is accompanied by the most ridiculous looking facial expressions from both actors. After Palpatine loses his lightsaber and is cornered by Mace, Anakin comes in. The calm way he walks up and looks around does not really convey the panicked confused feelings he's supposed be having now. Then Palpatine and Mace both try to convince Anakin that the other is a traitor to the republic trading off lines like "He's a traitor", "He is the traitor!" all while Palpatine shoots lighting at Mace Windu which is deflected back at his own face. He finally stops, proclaiming "I'm too weak". Perhaps he should have stopped before he fried off his own face and expended all his energy. I guess he's doing it to make himself look like the victim to Anakin, but this only goes to show how shallow and obvious his manipulations are. Anakin, apparently falling for this chicanery, pleads with Mace not to kill Palpatine because, "It's not the Jedi way" even though we saw him do the same thing to Dooku earlier under Palpatine's urging. When Mace ignores Anakin's hypocritical pleas Anakin cut's off his hand and Palpatine blasts him out the window with lighting shouting "Power! Unlimited Power!" in the most over the top fashion imaginable. This causes Anakin to drop his lightsaber and muse aloud "What have I done". Finally he pledges himself to Sidious teachings and the dark lord names his new apprentice Darth Vader and, questioned about his ability to save Padme from a yet undetermined cause of death, he informs him that only together can they unlock the secret.
  The whole sequence presents such a strange combination of over-the-top silliness, underplayed dramatic tension and flat out bizarreness that it's almost mind blowing.

  So what do I like about this movie? Well despite the bad lines and the uninspired settings, Ewan McGregor gives it his all. It seems like he's the only person in this film who approaches his role with any energy or sense of seriousness. Although some of the cgi seems dated now there are still some cool visuals. The action scenes are, for the most part, well done. And of course John Williams score is great. His music is the only consistently good thing in the prequels.

  So that's how I feel about Revenge of the Sith. Please feel free to respond/vent in the comments section below.